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Worksheet H: Setback Response Plan

Prepare for setbacks by creating a clear plan for how to respond to them.

Week 8

Appendix H

When My Loved One Has a Setback

My immediate response will be:

I will avoid saying things like:

When I Have a Setback

I will tell myself:

I will tell my loved one:

On a scale of 0-10, how much do you accept that setbacks are a normal part of this process?

Behind the Behavior

What did they actually do or avoid? (Just the observable behavior — no interpretation)

What was your nervous system's first interpretation? (The story it wrote)

What was their nervous system doing? (Amygdala alarm, anticipatory dread, post-panic shame spiral)

Alternative explanation 1: Maybe they were feeling...

Alternative explanation 2: Maybe they needed...

Alternative explanation 3: Maybe the anxiety was making them...

What is it like to hold multiple explanations without picking one? What do you notice?

Compassionate Inquiry: Tracing the Shame

A recent moment when I felt shame in this relationship:

The story I told myself about what it meant:

When I first learned this story / whose voice it is:

Where I feel shame in my body:

If that shame belongs to the past, what is actually true right now?