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My Window of Tolerance Map

Map both your loved one's window indicators AND your own — because your window matters too.

Week 3

Appendix C

Their Window

Above the Window (hyperarousal): What does it look like?

Inside the Window (functional): What does it look like?

Below the Window (hypoarousal): What does it look like?

Relational triggers that push them out of the window:

YOUR Window

When I go ABOVE my window, I:

When I go BELOW my window, I:

What shrinks MY window (their behaviors that activate me):

What helps me return to my window:

Example: Example Entry

A sample window map showing both people's indicators.

Above the Window (hyperarousal): What does it look like?

Pacing, rapid speech, snapping at small things, can't sit still, picking fights

Inside the Window (functional): What does it look like?

Can make eye contact, voice has normal rhythm, can have a conversation, laughs sometimes

Below the Window (hypoarousal): What does it look like?

Staring at nothing, one-word answers, goes to bed at 6pm, says 'I'm fine' in a flat voice

Relational triggers that push them out of the window:

When I ask about feelings, when I try to make plans, when I say 'I love you' unexpectedly