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Worksheet H: The Emotional Anchor

Developing a plan for co-regulation and managing meltdowns.

Week 8

Appendix H

Meltdown vs. Tantrum

Describe a recent instance of big emotions.

Based on the definitions, do I think it was a tantrum or a meltdown?

Calm-Down Plan

Three things that might help the person I support calm down are:

One thing I can do to stay calm myself is:

On a scale of 0-10, how confident do I feel in my ability to co-regulate?

Behind the Behavior

What did they actually do? (Just the observable behavior — no interpretation)

What was your nervous system's first interpretation? (The story it wrote)

What was their brain actually doing? (Sensory overload, executive function overload, double empathy problem, shutdown)

Alternative explanation 1: Maybe they were feeling...

Alternative explanation 2: Maybe they needed...

Alternative explanation 3: Maybe their nervous system was...

What is it like to hold multiple explanations without picking one? What do you notice?

Compassionate Inquiry: Tracing the Shame

A recent moment when I felt shame in this relationship:

The story I told myself about what it meant:

When I first learned this story / whose voice it is:

Where I feel shame in my body:

If that shame belongs to the past, what is actually true right now?