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My Worry, Their Wishes

For yourself, when you feel the urge to persuade. Use what your person has said, not what you think they ought to feel. Take your worry to someone else.

Module 4

Example: Completed Example: My Worry, Their Wishes

Fictional example. A husband reflects after his wife asks for fewer visitors.

What I fear or want reassurance about
I fear her friends will think I kept them away. I want her to explain the decision so nobody blames me.
What my person has said they want; their words if remembered
She said, 'I want some time with you without having to talk to visitors.'
What I do not know and must not assume
I don't know which visits she might want another day. I must not assume she wants no contact with her friends.
Who I can ask for support and the request I can make
I can call my brother and ask, 'Can you listen to my worry about disappointing people? I don't need you to change her mind.'
© 2026 Linda A. Curran, BCPC, LPC, CAADC, CCDPD | Aware and Present