How to Use This Script

This script is designed to be read aloud during your coaching session. "You" sometimes addresses you as the coach and sometimes your loved one — just as it would in a natural conversation. Speak it in your own voice; paraphrase where it feels right. Sections in blockquotes are exercises to do together.

You: We've spent the last ten weeks focused on the person you support. This week, we focus entirely on you. You cannot pour from an empty cup. If you burn out, your ability to provide effective support plummets. Sustainable support is not a luxury; it is a necessity.

Burnout is a state of chronic stress that leads to physical and emotional exhaustion, cynicism and detachment, and feelings of ineffectiveness. It creeps up on you. The first step is to recognize the warning signs in yourself. Are you more irritable? Are you having trouble sleeping? Are you withdrawing from friends and hobbies? These are red flags.

Building a support network is your primary defense against burnout. This network includes formal supports, like therapists and respite care providers, and informal supports, like friends, family, and other parents who "get it." You do not have to do this alone. It's like a pit crew for a race car driver. The driver is the star, but they are useless without the team that refuels the car and changes the tires. You need a pit crew.

Finally, you must have a non-negotiable self-care plan. This isn't about spa days (though those are nice). It's about the small, daily practices that recharge your battery. It could be a 15-minute walk, reading a book, or having an uninterrupted cup of coffee. You must schedule this time as if it were a critical doctor's appointment. Because it is. Your task this week is to be your own supporter. Build your team. Schedule your recharge time. Ask for help. Remember, you are the foundation of the support system. If the foundation cracks, the whole house is in trouble.

Compassionate Inquiry: The Six Questions for Supporters

You: "Gabor and Daniel Maté, in The Myth of Normal, offer six questions for self-inquiry. I've adapted them for supporters. These are not comfortable questions. They're meant to surface the hidden costs of caregiving — the boundaries not set, the needs not met, the stories that keep us locked in self-sacrifice."

CI Exercise: The Six Questions (Adapted for Supporters)

What am I not saying? What truth about this relationship am I afraid to speak?

What am I not feeling? What emotion have I been pushing away?

What am I not doing? What action am I avoiding because it feels selfish?

What am I pretending? What role am I playing that doesn't feel authentic?

What am I holding? What am I carrying that isn't mine to carry?

What am I not seeing? What pattern am I refusing to acknowledge?

You: "Sit with these. You don't have to answer them all today. But let them work on you."

Nervous System Regulation Exercise: Hand on Heart

You: "Let's do something simple but powerful. Place one or both hands over your heart. Feel the warmth of your hands through your clothing."

You: "Apply gentle pressure — enough to feel grounded. If it helps, say to yourself: 'I'm here. I'm safe. This is hard, and I can handle it.' Breathe naturally and stay with the sensation."

Why this works: Warm touch on the chest activates pressure receptors that signal safety to the brain. Research shows this gesture reduces cortisol and increases oxytocin — the same neurochemistry activated by being held by a safe person.

You: "You can do this anywhere. In public, just rest one hand on your chest as if you're thinking. No one will know it's a regulation practice."

Nervous System Regulation Exercise: Butterfly Hug

You: "This one comes from EMDR work with trauma survivors. Cross your arms over your chest, fingertips resting just below your collarbones."

You: "Now alternate tapping — right, left, right, left. Keep it slow and gentle. Do SHORT sets: 10 to 30 seconds, then pause and notice what you feel. Repeat 3 to 5 sets."

Why this works: The bilateral tapping provides alternating stimulation to both brain hemispheres, similar to EMDR eye movements. Short sets promote calming. This was developed by Lucina Artigas for use with trauma survivors.

Go Deeper

Window of Tolerance — The window concept in neurodivergent contexts: why the window is narrower under sensory load and how to support expansion without overwhelm

You: "Keep sets short for calming. Longer sets can open up emotional processing, which is better done with clinical support."