How to Use This Script

This script is designed to be read aloud during your coaching session. "You" sometimes addresses you as the coach and sometimes your loved one — just as it would in a natural conversation. Speak it in your own voice; paraphrase where it feels right. Sections in blockquotes are exercises to do together.

You: Last week, we laid the groundwork. This week, we turn the lens on you. Your effectiveness as a supporter is not just about the techniques you learn; it's about how you manage your own energy, expectations, and emotional responses. It's like being a mountain guide. You can have the best map in the world, but if you don't have the stamina and foresight to navigate the terrain, the map is useless.

Let's talk about common pitfalls. Many supporters fall into the trap of trying to change lifelong habits overnight, or they neglect their own needs—social, financial, and emotional. You might feel guilty for taking time for yourself, or frustrated when progress feels slow. These feelings are normal, but they are also warning signs. Ignoring them leads to burnout, which helps no one.

Now, let's focus on your strengths. Are you patient? Organized? A good listener? A fierce advocate? These are the tools you already possess. This week, I want you to identify your top two supporter strengths. These are your anchors. When things get tough, you will come back to these. For example, if you are an organized person, you can leverage that strength to create the structured routines that are so beneficial for individuals with ASD.

Your task is to be a mindful supporter, not a perfect one. This means recognizing when you're heading towards a pitfall, like trying to control a situation that is outside your control, and consciously choosing a different path. It means leveraging your natural strengths to make the journey smoother. This week is about self-assessment and strategy. What are your superpowers? And what is your kryptonite? Knowing both is essential for the long haul. Remember, you are a coach, not a superhero. You have limits, and acknowledging them is a strength, not a weakness.

Nervous System Regulation Exercise: Hand on Heart

You: "Let's do something simple but powerful. Place one or both hands over your heart. Feel the warmth of your hands through your clothing."

You: "Apply gentle pressure — enough to feel grounded. If it helps, say to yourself: 'I'm here. I'm safe. This is hard, and I can handle it.' Breathe naturally and stay with the sensation."

Why this works: Warm touch on the chest activates pressure receptors that signal safety to the brain. Research shows this gesture reduces cortisol and increases oxytocin — the same neurochemistry activated by being held by a safe person.

You: "You can do this anywhere. In public, just rest one hand on your chest as if you're thinking. No one will know it's a regulation practice."

Nervous System Regulation Exercise: Butterfly Hug

You: "This one comes from EMDR work with trauma survivors. Cross your arms over your chest, fingertips resting just below your collarbones."

You: "Now alternate tapping — right, left, right, left. Keep it slow and gentle. Do SHORT sets: 10 to 30 seconds, then pause and notice what you feel. Repeat 3 to 5 sets."

Why this works: The bilateral tapping provides alternating stimulation to both brain hemispheres, similar to EMDR eye movements. Short sets promote calming. This was developed by Lucina Artigas for use with trauma survivors.

You: "Keep sets short for calming. Longer sets can open up emotional processing, which is better done with clinical support."

Go Deeper

Polyvagal Theory — The three-state model and why autistic nervous systems often operate in sympathetic or dorsal vagal states