How to Use This Script

This script is designed to be read aloud during your coaching session. "You" sometimes addresses you as the coach and sometimes your loved one — just as it would in a natural conversation. Speak it in your own voice; paraphrase where it feels right. Sections in blockquotes are exercises to do together.

You: "We're seven weeks in, and we've been focused almost entirely on your loved one. This week is about you. Because here's the truth that nobody tells families of people with addiction: you are at risk too."

You: "Compassion fatigue is real. Burnout is real. The constant vigilance — checking if they're using, waiting for the phone to ring, managing the chaos — takes a physical and psychological toll. Your cortisol levels are elevated. Your sleep is disrupted. Your own relationships are suffering. Your health is declining."

You: "And here's the uncomfortable part: sometimes our helping becomes its own kind of compulsion. We get so focused on managing their crisis that we lose track of our own life. That's not a character flaw — it's a predictable response to living in chronic crisis."

Signs of Supporter Burnout:

You can't remember the last time you did something just for yourself
Your entire emotional state depends on whether they're using or not
You've stopped seeing friends or doing activities you used to enjoy
You feel guilty when you're not monitoring or helping them
You're physically exhausted, getting sick more often, or not sleeping
You've lost your sense of humor (a serious warning sign)

You: "Your well-being is not a luxury. It's a prerequisite. If you burn out, you can't help anyone — including them. And you deserve a life regardless of what they choose to do."

You: "Let's take an honest inventory of where you are right now. And then let's build a plan that includes at least one thing every day that is just for you."

Important: If you realize during this exercise that you need professional support — a therapist, a support group, a medical check-up — that is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of wisdom.

Nervous System Regulation Exercise: Hand on Heart

You: "Let's do something simple but powerful. Place one or both hands over your heart. Feel the warmth of your hands through your clothing."

You: "Apply gentle pressure — enough to feel grounded. If it helps, say to yourself: 'I'm here. I'm safe. This is hard, and I can handle it.' Breathe naturally and stay with the sensation."

Why this works: Warm touch on the chest activates pressure receptors that signal safety to the brain. Research shows this gesture reduces cortisol and increases oxytocin — the same neurochemistry activated by being held by a safe person.

You: "You can do this anywhere. In public, just rest one hand on your chest as if you're thinking. No one will know it's a regulation practice."

Nervous System Regulation Exercise: Butterfly Hug

You: "This one comes from EMDR work with trauma survivors. Cross your arms over your chest, fingertips resting just below your collarbones."

You: "Now alternate tapping — right, left, right, left. Keep it slow and gentle. Do SHORT sets: 10 to 30 seconds, then pause and notice what you feel. Repeat 3 to 5 sets."

Why this works: The bilateral tapping provides alternating stimulation to both brain hemispheres, similar to EMDR eye movements. Short sets promote calming. This was developed by Lucina Artigas for use with trauma survivors.

You: "

Guided Imagery — Between Sessions

The Guided Imagery Studio has a script called The Longings and Cravings Script — a visualization specifically designed for addiction recovery support — helps supporters understand the difference between the craving and the person, and find compassion without enabling.

Open Guided Imagery Studio [blocked] Keep sets short for ca

Regulation Toolkit — Between Sessions

The Regulation Toolkit has 22 nervous system regulation exercises organized by state: hyperarousal (flooded, panicked), hypoarousal (shut down, numb), and window of tolerance maintenance. You don't need to memorize them — you need to know where to find them when you need them.

Open Regulation Toolkit [blocked]

Alpha Wave Music — Between Sessions

The Alpha Wave Music Studio has binaural beat tracks specifically composed for nervous system regulation: focus states, calm alertness, and deep rest. Use them during difficult evenings, before hard conversations, or when you need to reset without having to do anything active.

Open Alpha Wave Music Studio [blocked] lming. Longer sets can open up emotional processing, which is better done with clinical support."

Go Deeper

Window of Tolerance