Creating a Wellness Plan

You: We are now moving into the maintenance phase. The hard work of changing core patterns is well underway. Now, we need to build a structure to support these changes long-term. Anxiety thrives when a person is run down. Poor sleep, bad nutrition, lack of exercise, and social isolation are like fertilizer for anxiety. A proactive wellness plan is a non-negotiable part of long-term recovery.

This is a collaborative process. Sit down with your loved one and talk about what a healthy lifestyle looks like for them. This isn’t about creating a rigid, military-style regimen. It’s about identifying small, consistent habits that support mental health. Maybe it’s a commitment to a regular sleep schedule, a daily walk, or reducing caffeine. The goal is to build a foundation of well-being that makes them less vulnerable to anxiety’s attacks.

Part of this plan is a specific relapse prevention strategy. This should be written down. It should include three things. First, a list of early warning signs that anxiety is creeping back in (e.g., starting to ask for reassurance again, avoiding social calls). Second, a list of high-risk situations that might be triggering (e.g., holidays, work deadlines). Third, a clear action plan for what to do when those warning signs or high-risk situations appear. This plan should include a list of their top coping skills, who they can reach out to for support (including you), and a reminder of how far they’ve come. This isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of professionalism. Pilots have checklists for a reason. This is their checklist for navigating the turbulence of life.

Nervous System Regulation Exercise: Hand on Heart

You: "Let's do something simple but powerful. Place one or both hands over your heart. Feel the warmth of your hands through your clothing."

You: "Apply gentle pressure — enough to feel grounded. If it helps, say to yourself: 'I'm here. I'm safe. This is hard, and I can handle it.' Breathe naturally and stay with the sensation."

Why this works: Warm touch on the chest activates pressure receptors that signal safety to the brain. Research shows this gesture reduces cortisol and increases oxytocin — the same neurochemistry activated by being held by a safe person.

You: "You can do this anywhere. In public, just rest one hand on your chest as if you're thinking. No one will know it's a regulation practice."

Nervous System Regulation Exercise: Butterfly Hug

You: "This one comes from EMDR work with trauma survivors. Cross your arms over your chest, fingertips resting just below your collarbones."

You: "Now alternate tapping — right, left, right, left. Keep it slow and gentle. Do SHORT sets: 10 to 30 seconds, then pause and notice what you feel. Repeat 3 to 5 sets."

Why this works: The bilateral tapping provides alternating stimulation to both brain hemispheres, similar to EMDR eye movements. Short sets promote calming. This was developed by Lucina Artigas for use with trauma survivors.

You: "Keep sets short for calming. Longer sets can open up emotional processing, which is better done with clinical support."

Nervous System Regulation Exercise: Bilateral Movement

You: "Let's get your body moving. Stand up and march in place — bring your right hand to your left knee, then your left hand to your right knee. Keep alternating."

You: "Let your arms swing naturally. Breathe normally. Continue for 2 to 3 minutes. Notice if you feel more present, less foggy."

Why this works: Cross-lateral movement activates both brain hemispheres simultaneously, promoting integration. It also generates proprioceptive input, helping your body locate itself in space — critical when someone feels disconnected.

Go Deeper

• Polyvagal Theory — The autonomic nervous system's role in anxiety: how the threat-detection system becomes hypervigilant and why your regulated presence is the most effective anxiolytic available
• Window of Tolerance — How the window concept applies to anxiety: expanding distress tolerance through graduated exposure, not avoidance

You: "This is a great first move when someone is shut down and can't access breathing exercises. Movement often works when stillness doesn't."