How to Use This Script

This script is designed to be read aloud during your coaching session. "You" sometimes addresses you as the coach and sometimes your loved one — just as it would in a natural conversation. Speak it in your own voice; paraphrase where it feels right. Sections in blockquotes are exercises to do together.

You: "We know that stress can trigger episodes. So let's look ahead. Is there anything coming up in the next few months that might be stressful? A wedding? A deadline? The holidays?"

You: "Let's make a plan for that specific event now, while you're feeling well. How will you protect your sleep? Who can you call if you get overwhelmed?"

Compassionate Inquiry: The Six Questions for Supporters

You: "Gabor and Daniel Maté, in The Myth of Normal, offer six questions for self-inquiry. I've adapted them for supporters. These are not comfortable questions. They're meant to surface the hidden costs of caregiving — the boundaries not set, the needs not met, the stories that keep us locked in self-sacrifice."

CI Exercise: The Six Questions (Adapted for Supporters)

What am I not saying? What truth about this relationship am I afraid to speak?

What am I not feeling? What emotion have I been pushing away?

What am I not doing? What action am I avoiding because it feels selfish?

What am I pretending? What role am I playing that doesn't feel authentic?

What am I holding? What am I carrying that isn't mine to carry?

What am I not seeing? What pattern am I refusing to acknowledge?

You: "Sit with these. You don't have to answer them all today. But let them work on you."

Nervous System Regulation Exercise: Hand on Heart

You: "Let's do something simple but powerful. Place one or both hands over your heart. Feel the warmth of your hands through your clothing."

You: "Apply gentle pressure — enough to feel grounded. If it helps, say to yourself: 'I'm here. I'm safe. This is hard, and I can handle it.' Breathe naturally and stay with the sensation."

Why this works: Warm touch on the chest activates pressure receptors that signal safety to the brain. Research shows this gesture reduces cortisol and increases oxytocin — the same neurochemistry activated by being held by a safe person.

You: "You can do this anywhere. In public, just rest one hand on your chest as if you're thinking. No one will know it's a regulation practice."

Nervous System Regulation Exercise: Butterfly Hug

You: "This one comes from EMDR work with trauma survivors. Cross your arms over your chest, fingertips resting just below your collarbones."

You: "Now alternate tapping — right, left, right, left. Keep it slow and gentle. Do SHORT sets: 10 to 30 seconds, then pause and notice what you feel. Repeat 3 to 5 sets."

Why this works: The bilateral tapping provides alternating stimulation to both brain hemispheres, similar to EMDR eye movements. Short sets promote calming. This was developed by Lucina Artigas for use with trauma survivors.

Go Deeper

Window of Tolerance — Understanding the window concept as a long-term framework, not just a crisis tool: how expanding tolerance is the goal of the final weeks

Attachment Theory — How secure attachment functions as a long-term buffer against relapse in bipolar disorder

You: "Keep sets short for calming. Longer sets can open up emotional processing, which is better done with clinical support."