FAQ & Troubleshooting

Supporting someone with emotion dysregulation — what the DSM calls Borderline Personality Disorder — raises questions that other manuals don't address. These are the ones supporters ask most, with answers grounded in the neurobiology and the research, not in the stigma.

These answers are educational guidance for supporters, not clinical advice. When in doubt, consult the treatment team. In a crisis, call 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) or go to your nearest emergency room.

FAQ & Troubleshooting

Is this manipulation?

Should I call 911 every time there is self-harm?

How do I tell the difference between BPD and bipolar disorder?

They were diagnosed with BPD but I think it's actually trauma. Which is it?

What do I say when they accuse me of something I didn't do?

They go from loving me to hating me in the same conversation. What is happening?

Will they ever get better? Is this a life sentence?

I'm exhausted and resentful. Does that mean I should leave?

What is DBT and should they be doing it?

How do I set limits without triggering an abandonment spiral?

What is Mentalization-Based Therapy (MBT) and how is it different from DBT?

What is Transference-Focused Psychotherapy (TFP) and what does it actually do?

They're manipulating me.

They'll never get better.

I'm the only one who can help them.