How to Use This Script

This script is designed to be read aloud during your coaching session. "You" sometimes addresses you as the coach and sometimes your loved one — just as it would in a natural conversation. Speak it in your own voice; paraphrase where it feels right. Sections in blockquotes are exercises to do together.

You: "Last week we talked about what ADHD is. This week, we're going to get specific about how it shows up for you. Because ADHD is not one-size-fits-all. Some people struggle most with time. Others with emotional regulation. Others with getting started on tasks. We need to know your particular profile."

You: "Executive functions are the brain's management system. Think of them as the air traffic control tower at an airport. The planes are your thoughts, impulses, and tasks. The tower is supposed to sequence them, prioritize them, and prevent collisions. In ADHD, the tower is understaffed."

The 7 Executive Functions:

Working Memory — Holding information in mind while using it. ("I walked into the kitchen and forgot why.")
Time Management — Estimating how long things take, sensing time passing. ("Time blindness.")
Task Initiation — Starting tasks, especially boring or complex ones. ("I know I need to do it. I just... can't start.")
Organization — Keeping physical and mental spaces ordered. ("I have a system. It's just invisible to everyone else.")
Emotional Regulation — Managing frustration, excitement, and disappointment proportionally. ("I go from 0 to 100 in a second.")
Sustained Attention — Maintaining focus on non-preferred tasks. ("My brain just... leaves.")
Impulse Control — Pausing before acting, speaking, or spending. ("I said it before I thought it.")

You: "I want us each to rate these independently — on a scale of 1 to 5, where 1 is 'major struggle' and 5 is 'actually a strength.' Then we'll compare notes. The goal isn't to agree — it's to see where our perceptions overlap and where they diverge."

You: "This isn't about judgment. It's about precision. A coach who doesn't know where the weak spots are is just guessing. And here's what I want you to notice: the areas where your ratings diverge are often the most important ones. That gap is where the misunderstanding lives."

Compassionate Inquiry: The Gap Between Perception and Experience You: "When you look at these seven areas, I want to ask you something — not to answer out loud if you don't want to. Just sit with it. Which one of these has caused you the most shame? Not frustration — shame. The 'I should be able to do this by now' feeling."

Pause. Let that land.

You: "Gabor Maté talks about how ADHD symptoms are often responses to an environment that couldn't accommodate a particular kind of brain. The shame isn't yours — it was installed. This inventory isn't a report card. It's a map. Maps don't judge terrain. They just show you where you are so you can figure out where to go."

Regulation Practice: Bilateral Tapping You: "Before we close, let's do something quick to settle the nervous system. This is called bilateral tapping — it activates both hemispheres of the brain alternately, which helps with emotional processing and focus. It's also something you can do anywhere, anytime."

Instructions: Tap your left knee, then right knee, alternating slowly. Or cross your arms and tap your shoulders. Continue for 30–60 seconds. Breathe normally.

You: "This works because the alternating left-right stimulation mimics the natural bilateral processing the brain does during REM sleep — it helps integrate information and reduce activation in the threat-response system. ADHD brains often run hot; this cools the engine a little."

Closing You: "This week, I want you both to complete the Executive Function Inventory worksheet independently — before you compare. Don't show each other until you're both done. The gap between your ratings is the most important data we'll collect."

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