How to Use This Script

This script is designed to be read aloud during your coaching session. "You" sometimes addresses you as the coach and sometimes your loved one — just as it would in a natural conversation. Speak it in your own voice; paraphrase where it feels right. Sections in blockquotes are exercises to do together.

You: "Depression often comes back. That's not a failure — it's the nature of the condition. But here's the good news: the earlier you catch it, the faster you can respond, and the less severe it tends to be."

You: "Think back to the last time depression crept in. What was the very first thing that changed? Was it your sleep? Your appetite? Did you start canceling plans? Did you stop showering?"

You: "These are your 'Signature Signs.' They're unique to you. And once we know them, we can create a plan so that when you — or I — notice them, we know exactly what to do."

You: "We're going to use a traffic light system:"

Yellow (Early Signs): Subtle changes. Action: Increase self-care, re-engage with activities, tell your supporter.
Orange (Escalating): Multiple signs present for more than a few days. Action: Contact your therapist or doctor, activate the full Daily Routine plan.
Red (Crisis): Suicidal thoughts, inability to function, complete withdrawal. Action: Call the crisis line, go to the ER, activate the Safety Plan.

You: "Let's fill this out together. And then I want you to share it with me and at least one other person you trust."

Compassionate Inquiry: The Six Questions for Supporters

You: "Gabor and Daniel Maté, in The Myth of Normal, offer six questions for self-inquiry. I've adapted them for supporters. These are not comfortable questions. They're meant to surface the hidden costs of caregiving — the boundaries not set, the needs not met, the stories that keep us locked in self-sacrifice."

CI Exercise: The Six Questions (Adapted for Supporters)

What am I not saying? What truth about this relationship am I afraid to speak?

What am I not feeling? What emotion have I been pushing away?

What am I not doing? What action am I avoiding because it feels selfish?

What am I pretending? What role am I playing that doesn't feel authentic?

What am I holding? What am I carrying that isn't mine to carry?

What am I not seeing? What pattern am I refusing to acknowledge?

You: "Sit with these. You don't have to answer them all today. But let them work on you."

Nervous System Regulation Exercise: Bilateral Movement

You: "Let's get your body moving. Stand up and march in place — bring your right hand to your left knee, then your left hand to your right knee. Keep alternating."

You: "Let your arms swing naturally. Breathe normally. Continue for 2 to 3 minutes. Notice if you feel more present, less foggy."

Why this works: Cross-lateral movement activates both brain hemispheres simultaneously, promoting integration. It also generates proprioceptive input, helping your body locate itself in space — critical when someone feels disconnected.

You: "This is a great first move when someone is shut down and can't access breathing exercises. Movement often works when stillness doesn't."

Nervous System Regulation Exercise: Feet on Floor

You: "Here's the simplest grounding tool there is. Press both feet flat on the floor. Remove your shoes if you can."

You: "Feel the contact — the texture, the temperature. Imagine roots growing from the soles of your feet down into the earth. With each exhale, let your weight settle downward. Gravity is constant and reliable."

Why this works: Proprioceptive input through the feet sends grounding signals to the brainstem. The deliberate attention to gravity interrupts the 'floating' or 'unreal' quality of dissociation.

You: "You can do this anywhere — in a waiting room, during a difficult conversation. No one needs to know."

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