How to Use This Script

This script is designed to be read aloud during your coaching session. "You" sometimes addresses you as the coach and sometimes your loved one — just as it would in a natural conversation. Speak it in your own voice; paraphrase where it feels right. Sections in blockquotes are exercises to do together.

You: "Last week we talked about what depression is. This week, we're going to start gathering data. No changes yet — just noticing."

You: "Depression creates a vicious cycle. You feel bad, so you do less. You do less, so you feel worse. You feel worse, so you do even less. And on it goes. The first step to breaking that cycle is seeing it clearly."

You: "This is an Activity & Mood Log. At the end of each day — or a few times a day if you can — just jot down what you did and rate your mood from 0 to 10. Zero is the lowest you've ever felt. Ten is the best."

You: "There's no right or wrong answer. We're just gathering data. Think of it like a scientist collecting observations before running an experiment. How does that sound?"

Important: If your loved one says "I didn't do anything," that IS data. Write it down. "Stayed in bed, mood: 2." That's valuable information, not a failure.

Nervous System Regulation Exercise: 4-7-8 Breathing

You: "Let's practice a breathing technique that directly stimulates your vagus nerve. It's called 4-7-8 Breathing."

You: "Sit comfortably. Inhale through your nose for a count of 4. Hold for 7. Exhale through your mouth for 8. The exhale is twice as long as the inhale — that's the key."

You: "Let's do four cycles together. Inhale, 2, 3, 4... hold, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7... exhale, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8."

Why this works: The extended exhale directly stimulates the vagus nerve, shifting your autonomic nervous system toward rest-and-digest. The hold phase increases CO2 tolerance, which reduces panic sensitivity over time.

You: "If holding for 7 feels too long, start with 4-4-6 and build up. This is particularly good for sleep and general anxiety."

Nervous System Regulation Exercise: Humming / Vocal Toning

You: "Here's one you can do anywhere, even quietly. It's called Humming or Vocal Toning."

You: "Take a normal breath in. On the exhale, hum at a comfortable pitch — or try a low 'voo' sound. Feel the vibration in your chest, throat, and face. Continue for a few minutes."

Why this works: The vagus nerve passes through your larynx. Vibration from humming mechanically stimulates it, triggering parasympathetic activation. Peter Levine specifically recommends the 'voo' sound for people who feel frozen or numb.

You: "Even sub-vocal humming has an effect. How does that feel in your body?"

Go Deeper

Polyvagal Theory — Why the depressed nervous system withdraws, and why social engagement is the biological antidote