Aware and Present
A Coaching Manual for Family and Friends of Someone Who Is Dying
Before You Begin ~ Reading Paths & Resources
Aware and Present
A Coaching Manual for Family and Friends of Someone Who Is Dying
Linda A. Curran, BCPC, LPC, CAADC, CCDPD
I write as a trauma specialist. My view of death and dying took shape earlier, as a respiratory therapist who sat on the ethics committee. Those years left me dreaming of a hospice called Morphine & Ice Cream. Given my work in psychedelic-assisted therapy, I would now add mushrooms to the name and the menu.
© 2026 Linda A. Curran. This work is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0). You may share and adapt it for noncommercial purposes, with credit, provided adaptations carry the same license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/4.0/ Third-party instruments, quotations, and excerpts retain their original rights and permissions.
Before You Begin
This manual is for the people who love someone who is dying of an illness: partners, adult children, parents, siblings, friends. It is education and coaching, not medical or psychological care. Your person's hospice or palliative team handles the medicine. This manual handles what the medicine doesn't: how to stay present, and how to help your person stay present, while there is still time.
Nothing here is a test. Your person does not owe anyone a conversation, a life review, or a peaceful-looking death. Every exercise, ritual, and conversation in this manual is an offer. Anyone can say no.
For symptoms, medications, and anything sudden or unexpected, call your person's hospice or palliative team. Get their daytime and after-hours numbers now, before you need them. The companion workbook has a contact sheet for this.
If you or the person you are supporting is thinking about ending their life, call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If a suicide attempt is underway, an overdose is suspected, or there is immediate physical danger, call 911.
Ask before writing down or recording your person's words, and before sharing them. Permission to record is not permission to circulate.
How to Use This Manual
The other manuals on this site run twelve weeks. This one doesn't, because you may not have twelve weeks. Each module stands on its own. Start with Module 1, then go where you are needed.
If you have months: read the modules in order. Do the exercises. Leave time for Module 6, because taking stock takes time.
If you have weeks: read Modules 1 and 2, then go straight to Modules 6 and 7.
If you have days: read Module 1, then Module 9. Say what you came to say. Keep talking to your person.
The companion workbook holds the worksheets, most with a completed example from a fictional family. Use them if writing helps. Skip them if it doesn't. One sentence on a page counts.
Exercises are done at home. Rituals belong to the family. If your person wants a ritual, they choose a lay witness ~ a friend, an adult child, a neighbor ~ someone who can be present without running the show. Your person's therapist, if they have one, is not the officiant.
Companion Workbook Introduction
Aware and Present: Workbook
Worksheets for Family and Friends of Someone Who Is Dying
Linda A. Curran, BCPC, LPC, CAADC, CCDPD
Using This Workbook
These worksheets go with the Aware and Present manual. Each has a blank form, and most have a completed example from a fictional family. The examples show how short an answer can be. They are not a standard to meet.
Leave any field blank. Write "I don't know." One sentence counts.
Ask before writing down your person's words, and before anyone else reads them.
Nothing here is a clinical assessment or a test of acceptance.
For symptoms, sudden changes, or distress, call the hospice or palliative team first. The night contact sheet is at the back of this workbook.
© 2026 Linda A. Curran. Licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0.
© 2026 Linda A. Curran. This work is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0). You may share and adapt it for noncommercial purposes, with credit, provided adaptations carry the same license. https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/4.0/ Third-party instruments, quotations, and excerpts retain their original rights and permissions.
Supporting the Supporter
You will need someone before and after the death. Name them while you still have the energy to ask. Give them a job they can do: bring dinner Thursday, sit with me after the appointment, handle the messages to the wider family. You don't have to give everyone the same job.
The shared tools on this site are yours too: the Regulation Toolkit, Guided Imagery Studio, Alpha Wave Music, the Compassionate Inquiry Framework, the Self-Care Assessment, and the Crisis Safety Plan. Use them for yourself. Offer music or imagery to your person only if they want it. The Crisis Safety Plan is for suicide risk or a mental health crisis, not for expected dying.
Resources
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988 (United States). Call 911 for immediate danger.
Your hospice or palliative care team: your first call for symptoms, medications, and what to expect.
Oregon Health Authority, Oregon Psilocybin Services.
Colorado Department of Revenue, Natural Medicine Division (healing centers), and Colorado Department of Regulatory Agencies (facilitators).
New Mexico Department of Health, Medical Psilocybin Program.
ClinicalTrials.gov: search "psilocybin" or "ketamine" with "cancer," "palliative," or "end of life."
References
Agin-Liebes, G. I., Malone, T., Yalch, M. M., Mennenga, S. E., Ponté, K. L., Guss, J., Bossis, A. P., Grigsby, J., Fischer, S., & Ross, S. (2020). Long-term follow-up of psilocybin-assisted psychotherapy for psychiatric and existential distress in patients with life-threatening cancer. Journal of Psychopharmacology, 34(2), 155–166.
Blundon, E. G., Gallagher, R. E., & Ward, L. M. (2020). Electrophysiological evidence of preserved hearing at the end of life. Scientific Reports, 10, 10336.
Byock, I. (2004). The four things that matter most: A book about living. Free Press.
Chun, M. N. (2011). Hoʻoponopono: Traditional ways of healing to make things right again. Curriculum Research & Development Group, University of Hawaiʻi.
Griffiths, R. R., Johnson, M. W., Carducci, M. A., Umbricht, A., Richards, W. A., Richards, B. D., Cosimano, M. P., & Klinedinst, M. A. (2016). Psilocybin produces substantial and sustained decreases in depression and anxiety in patients with life-threatening cancer: A randomized double-blind trial. Journal of Psychopharmacology, 30(12), 1181–1197.
Irwin, S. A., Iglewicz, A., Nelesen, R. A., Lo, J. Y., Carr, C. H., Romero, S. D., & Lloyd, L. S. (2013). Daily oral ketamine for the treatment of depression and anxiety in patients receiving hospice care: A 28-day open-label proof-of-concept trial. Journal of Palliative Medicine, 16(8), 958–965.
Johnson, M. W., Richards, W. A., & Griffiths, R. R. (2008). Human hallucinogen research: Guidelines for safety. Journal of Psychopharmacology, 22(6), 603–620.
Pukui, M. K., Haertig, E. W., & Lee, C. A. (1972). Nānā i ke kumu (Look to the source) (Vol. 1). Hui Hānai.
Ross, S., Bossis, A., Guss, J., Agin-Liebes, G., Malone, T., Cohen, B., Mennenga, S. E., Belser, A., Kalliontzi, K., Babb, J., Su, Z., Corby, P., & Schmidt, B. L. (2016). Rapid and sustained symptom reduction following psilocybin treatment for anxiety and depression in patients with life-threatening cancer: A randomized controlled trial. Journal of Psychopharmacology, 30(12), 1165–1180.
Thomas, D. (1952). Do not go gentle into that good night. In In country sleep, and other poems. New Directions.
© 2026 Linda A. Curran. Licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 4.0. Quoted and third-party material retains its own rights.
Independent Modules
Use the author's reading paths above. The modules are independent; there is no required weekly sequence.
Start Module 1Your Digital Toolkit
Module Text
Read the complete author text for each independent module. There is no required weekly schedule or coaching read-aloud script.
When to use it: Choose the reading path in the author's introduction or open the module relevant to you now.
Open Module TextInteractive Worksheets
Open the primary and associated worksheets for each module, plus the night-contact sheet. Responses save on this device only, not to an account or across devices.
When to use it: Use alongside the relevant module. Print or export your work to keep a separate copy. Most worksheets have an optional completed example.
Open Interactive WorksheetsRegulation Toolkit (22 Exercises)
The existing collection of nervous-system regulation exercises and state-matching references remains available.
When to use it: Open an exercise when you want a regulation practice; follow its instructions and use only what suits you.
Open Regulation Toolkit (22 Exercises)Alpha Wave Music
The existing audio tools offer music, binaural tones, and ambient sound options.
When to use it: Optional listening alongside a practice or on its own. Follow the audio tool's listening guidance.
Open Alpha Wave MusicGuided Imagery Studio
The existing imagery studio offers guided imagery scripts and audio options.
When to use it: An optional practice when imagery feels suitable; it is not a required step in the manual.
Open Guided Imagery StudioCompassionate Inquiry Framework
The existing reference page includes reflective questions and communication resources.
When to use it: Open as an optional reference, separate from the author's module text.
Open Compassionate Inquiry FrameworkProgress Tracker & Export
Mark modules complete and review or export saved worksheet responses, including associated worksheets and standalone sheets. Progress and responses remain device-local.
When to use it: Record your reading if useful. Print or download a report when you want a separate copy; completion is not a clinical outcome measure.
Open Progress Tracker & ExportOptional Mental-Health Crisis Safety Plan
The optional Crisis Safety Plan is for suicide or other mental-health crises, not expected dying. It is not a prerequisite for any module.
When to use it: For its existing suicide and mental-health safety purpose when relevant, not as an end-of-life care or night-contact plan.
Open Optional Mental-Health Crisis Safety PlanSelf-Care Assessment
The existing supporter self-care assessment remains available as an optional tool.
When to use it: Use at your own pace when you want to review your own needs. There is no required weekly assessment schedule.
Open Self-Care AssessmentSupporter's Toolkit
The existing shared quick-reference toolkit remains accessible alongside this manual.
When to use it: Open relevant references as needed; shared condition-program tools are not required end-of-life instructions.
Open Supporter's ToolkitFAQ & Reading Guidance
Find guidance for navigating this manual and links to the author's introduction, worksheets, and existing tools.
When to use it: When you need help finding a module, worksheet, or tool.
Open FAQ & Reading GuidanceManual & Companion Workbook PDFs
Download the separate manual and companion workbook for offline reading and worksheet use.
When to use it: Use the available download links in this guide to keep or print a copy.
Manual & Companion Workbook
Separate PDFs for offline reading, printing, and worksheet use.
Linda A. Curran, BCPC, LPC, CAADC, CCDPD
Trauma therapist, consultant, author and educator.